just my rant...

my dial doesn't adjust to your feelings...
my color doesn't change with your mood.
i'm not a bag of beans that you can punch to let out your anger.
yes, i'm there when your happy...
i console you when your sad...
i calm you when your mad...
but i am not your mood meter..
your mood ring...
or your punching bag.
don't take out your shit on me!

men why does your woman end up being the one you take it all out on...then you can get on the phone and talk to everyone else like you've had the best day? i really want to know... i've experienced this in a number of relationships and i can't figure this out for the life of me.

you're scared to loose that friend so you put on a parade for them... but when it comes to your significant other you think of them as your commode... open to take in all your shit, then flush it and act like we're the happiest bitch in the world cause we're with you! give me a break! if there is one thing i'm sick of when it comes to men it's this.

It's been a minute...

It's been a minute but I'm still here. Sooo much has happened. I've grown so much internally. I don't know where to begin.

My babie brought me a brand new laptop for my birthday so I'm going to be blogging again. I can't finally get in my cypher, tune everything out and write. I'm excited to see what will come out.

I'm loving life... I'm in the growing pains stage right now though. You know? Fighting tooth and nail for respect as the adult that I am. I pay my own bills... I provide for myself. My other half and I do pretty well for ourselves. I'm proud... especially while raising a 2 year old.

My Jaja Bean... He's a mess and growing so fast. I didn't realize children grow so fast. I never knew that I could love someone sooo much. You can't tell me I didn't birth him though I know I didn't... But I've birthed unrestricted love for him in my heart that I've never felt before. Though trying at times... all the time... Motherhood is beautiful.

It's not hard to love so much when you get that love in return. No matter what we've been through or go through me and my man are meant to be. I love him when he makes me mad, I love him when he irritates me, I love him when we disagree, I love him when he makes me smile, I love him when he embraces me, I love him when he loves me. He's not perfect but he's perfect for me. The thing I love most is that we are growing together and I know that that alone continues to let our love grow.

I am missing my friends from college. Whoever said that college friends are friends for a lifetime was soooo right. I went back for the first time in almost 2 years and I didn't realize how much I missed them until it was time to leave. If I could put Salisbury and Wilmington together I would be happy.

I'm enjoying finally having a (somewhat) fulfilling career. Not just a job. In 8 months time I've moved up to working M-F 8-5 vs Thurs-Mon 11-7. Now I'll be interviewing for another position with in the company. God is good.

I just wanted to let you all know where I am right now... there is more to come. But I just wanted to get my mojo going so I can this thing started again!