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Sunday, November 28, 2010

i'm back...

i must say i had to take sometime and find me. me and aviqon lost touch for a while. i've been through a lot in the past 6+ months and somewhere in the process i lost myself. it was something going on internally and it was showing on the outside which left my friends and family to wonder.

you ever notice when your in a situation that may not necessarily be good for you, you feel like those who are truly concerned for you are against you? well that was me...

i've been thinking about it for a while and i didn't really realize it until i wrote a piece about what a relationship that one of my close friends (that shall remain nameless) was in and now i find myself in every word of that piece 2 years later.

there is nothing new under the sun... we all have subjected ourselves in some form. i suffer from what i like to call "superwoman syndrome." i want to save the world. i will give all of myself and then when i need me... there is none of me left. so i guess this is my declaration that i'm putting God first and me second. i've got to do me.

i missed me. i miss all the things about me that make me... me. now i'm not saying i wasn't being myself. i was more of a watered down, depressed version of myself. i was me in black and white... before cable and hd tv. yeah... you ever noticed how beautiful disney movies are when they're re-mastered and put on dvd? well that's what God was (and still is) doing to me. he's taken me through a storm to re-master me and make me more beautiful than ever before and it's all him and none of myself.

have you ever been so low that you become complacent with where you are? even when you know you are operating below your standards? complacency is a disease and if you let it... it can become terminal and kill your spirit. no matter what your going through don't become complacent... keep striving even if you feel what your striving for isn't tangible because it's there.

i know some of you are wondering... "well, what was going on?" that's neither here nor there. just know that God won't let you stay down for long... but you have to listen for his voice and look for him. he will show you things... whether you want to take heed or not. take it from me and heed to His word! you'll see caution signs everywhere! lol...

ahh... i'm back! i feel good about me again... all of me! i'm back in love with me! no one deserves your love and affection more than yourself! call it conceited or whatever you will just make sure you call me beautiful! God's love radiates through the beauty he blessed me with... don't believe me just look and see...



well folks... that's all for now! gotta go to WORK! yeah... something i didn't do for five months and God has blessed me with the type of job i've always wanted! i have a career...