Bittersweet Honesty...

Why does this love thing have to be so hard? Why can't you just be honest and your honesty not hurt? God has commanded us to be honest so why does it have to hurt when we are?

I've always been a person in relationships I always want to be honest with my partner and look for the same in my partner. But when you bring up the past do you ever wonder if your getting the raw truth? People are very sensitive about their past... I know I am. When it comes to past relationships... I think that's as sensitive as it gets.

1. Because you want to still see your partner as pure as you saw them when you first met.

2. Everyone has that little thorn in their stem called jealousy. You don't want to think of your boy/girlfriend loving anyone else more than they love you.

3. Some stuff you just don't want to hear... and some stuff you don't want to tell.

But... I try to be absolutely honest because I have nothing to hide. I think me and my boyfriend have been pretty honest with each other, even though it can still be a touchy subject.

So what do you think? When your in a serious relationship do you tell the truth or do you skim it? Give the name brand or the generic version of the truth?


© the thoughts and feelings of graham, 2009

~Thanks for reading...and if you haven't clicked that follow button on the right above my loyal community, please do and join the land of Complex Serenity.
Love & Peace... Avi'Qon

uhhh... the reason for my stress!

http://www.wect.com/Global/story.asp?S=12597805

IM NOT GETTING PAID!!!! THE YAHWEH CENTER DOESN'T PAY!!!!

CASTLE HAYNE, NC (WECT) - The Yahweh Center Children's Village in New Hanover County is a picturesque place where kids who are hurting go to heal. But beyond the white picket fences, there are signs of financial trouble.

Monica Carter has worked at the Yahweh Center for two months and says she has yet to receive a single paycheck. The check she should have received Friday didn't make it into her hands. Instead, she found a memo from Carla Roberts, the founder and executive director of the Yahweh Center, explaining that employees would be paid four days late.

"I have bills," said Carter. "I have kids, and I can't wait for Wednesday to get here and then they're like, 'No, I don't have anything for you.'"

While Carter is the first to speak out publicly, she's the fifth Yahweh employee to tell WECT about ongoing payroll problems, and much more. We sat down with Carla Roberts to get her side of the story.

"I'm in it up to my ears," said Roberts, saying that she is suffering just as much as her employees.

Roberts says there's just not enough money to go around, and blames many of the issues on the state.

"They've skipped. They've shorted us," she said.

She also claims they went three weeks without sending her any Medicaid reimbursement. However, when we checked with the state, we were told that is simply false. In fact, the Department of Health and Human Services said Roberts has received more than $500,000 so far this year; that's about one fourth of her total operating budget of $2.2 million.

"Sounds like mismanagement to me," said Carter.

She and other employees say the management problems go beyond money, to something much more important -- the care of the children.

They also say one of the most difficult parts of the situation is that not only God's name, but God's word are both inextricably connected with The Yahweh Center. It's just a matter of how that word is being used. Some say it's strictly to help the children. Others say it's turned into a method of manipulation. They claim Roberts uses their Christian faith to convince them it's ok if they get paid weeks behind schedule, because God will provide.

"Manipulation, people can call it what they want. I'm telling them the truth," said Roberts, saying the organization is transparent and open with its employees, and above all, centered around Christ.

"You need to know there's great sacrifice going on here, and there are programs all over North Carolina shutting down."

It's clear that no one wants the Yahweh Center to close its gates next, but Carter and a growing list of others do want some answers, and above all, they want what's best for the kids who call Yahweh home.

Courtesy of WECT TV 6, Wilmington, NC

family tree...

what is that i've done...
that you have done i can't see...
cause you know they say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
so tell me auntie...
what are your leaves covering?
yes this is the way mommy did it...
and now it's my turn.
no this wasn't exactly my plan...
but the leaves grow where they may...
and a new little branch is sprouting out my limb.
so let the rain fall...
let it grow in peace...
and if you can't bear the fruit...
fall off the tree and go your way...
cause no matter how you see it... this is God's way.


© the thoughts and feelings of graham, 2009


~Thanks for reading...
and if you haven't clicked that follow button on
the right side above my loyal community, please do
and join the Land of Complex Serenity.
Love & Peace... Avi'Qon

a new definition of soulmate...

a new look on love...
a new look on people...
a new look on music...
a new look on relationships...
a new look on family...
a new look on life...
a new look on me...

that's what he's given me.
i honestly know what it's like to have a religious love for someone...
this love is spiritual and will last a lifetime.
two opposites that share one heart... you are my soulmate.

it's crazy to me because i never thought it would be you.
but you came, saw, and conquered...
i'm holding on to you...
and your holding on to me...
both holding on for dear life.





two opposites... one heart... the new definition of my soulmate...

<3 freelancefloetic...


© the thoughts and feelings of graham, 2009


~Thanks for reading...
and if you haven't clicked that follow button on
the right side above my loyal community, please do
and join the Land of Complex Serenity.
Love & Peace... Avi'Qon

my decree to mother...

i'm trying hard not to grow attached...
backing off so i won't become a part...
but how can someone so cute, small, innocent, and pure not steal my heart?
i don't want to be his mother...
i just can't help that i love him.
sorry baby mama...
i can't turn away...
i'm in love with his daddy so i'm going to stay.
i've been considerate and tacit...
but you'll just have to face it.
to fight you that's just basic...
i'm pretty...
i'm a queen...
such a lady as you've heard or seen...
to get my hands dirty on someone who is beneath me is so demeaning.
you want baby daddy...
sorry lady, in your dreams.
my relationship with your son will never be done...
& this war you've created will never be won.
so grow up and become someone...
& maybe then you might can raise your son.

© the thoughts and feelings of graham, 2009


~Thanks for reading...
and if you haven't clicked that follow button on
the right side above my loyal community, please do
and join the Land of Complex Serenity.
Love & Peace... Avi'Qon

@ a lost...

i'm trying to hold back this feeling
but it's taking control of me
there is so much i feel
so much i could say
i never thought that you could ever make me feel this way... about you

it took 4 months and now i'm everyday "booed" up with you...
a month ago i wouldn't even talk to you...
but now i can't get enough of you...
i don't know how?
you stole my heart and everything else followed.

i think this is it...
i think you've taken the cake...
i think the princess has found her prince...
just not in the usual armor.

i can't find the words...
you've stolen every verb...

ASG_ _ _ _ _JLW...
you fill in the words?

he got me!

so here we are now... four months later and i have given in. he got me... he didn't steal my eyes... but he stole my heart. this guy is so many cons on my long list of what i want in a man. but he's taking me out of my comfort zone and i see him for who he is and not what i assumed.

ya'll i'm doing something that i haven't before... scared? a little... only because he is the total opposite of the type of men i have dated and i am the opposite of what he has dated. so i'm gonna remain optimistic and try this.

he treats me as if i was the most important thing in the world... and i can't lie it feels good. never had anyone treat me that way before. not to discredit my ex's... but if they felt that way it wasn't openly.

the guy i was "messing" with before him had it all... he was "GQ" just like i like them... mmmhmm. but he didn't want anything out of a relationship... he didn't want one at all for that matter. but he wanted the goods... well they aren't free! ugh... i shouldn't have even entertained him for as long as i did.

well God has forgiven me and shown me favor and now i have my babe and all is well. i don't think its going to be a easy relationship, but i think the ride will be worth it.