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Sunday, June 27, 2010

Be Alright (Dedication)... J. White featuring Aviqon (Foreign Exchange)



Ok ya'll... it's been a minute. But I think I'm back. If not I'm going to force my pen to write because writing gives me clarity as well as sanity. But this blog is more of a vocal blog. It's my first song that I sang with my boyfriend J.White. It's entitled
"Be Alright" (Dedication) (Sample: The Foreign Exchange- Be Alright) its in memory of our child we lost due to miscarriage and his brother. If you've already commented on my facebook THANK YOU! Check it out and please give me some feedback! Love you!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The greatest pain...

I have experienced the greatest pain I could ever feel in my life. The questions of "Why?" and "How?" cloud my mind. What could I have done so wrong to ever deserve such pain? But it's not about me... God knows best. But I can't say that even with my ferverent belief in the Lord that this statement brought me much comfort or peace. All I knew is a piece of me is gone and I don't know how or why. Something created in so much love has floated away at the drop of blood.

Things that I said in anger I never ever meant. Stress of life's burdens weighing on my shoulders and on your little body. I did my best to be a good mommy even before you were here because I loved you more than life itself. But I'd rather you safe in the arms of the Lord and in the company of your family of angels in heaven then to suffer here on earth with something beyond your control.

I now know what it feels like to have your heart ripped right out of your chest... feeling like your living with no life left. I'm slowly coming back to life... slowly smiling here and there, accompanied by a laugh or two. But in my heart I'm sorrowfully singing:

"Twinkle Twinkle little star... How I wonder what you are.
Up above the world so high... Like a diamond in the sky.
Twinkle Twinkle little star... How I wonder what you are."

Mommy and Daddy Love you soo much... Until we meet again!

"Sweet little flower of Heavenly birth, you were too fair to bloom on Earth"


© the thoughts and feelings of graham, 2009

~Thanks for reading...and if you haven't clicked that follow button on the right above my loyal community, please do and join the land of Complex Serenity.
Love & Peace... Avi'Qon

song of the blog: "esp" by georgia anne muldrow

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Bittersweet Honesty...

Why does this love thing have to be so hard? Why can't you just be honest and your honesty not hurt? God has commanded us to be honest so why does it have to hurt when we are?

I've always been a person in relationships I always want to be honest with my partner and look for the same in my partner. But when you bring up the past do you ever wonder if your getting the raw truth? People are very sensitive about their past... I know I am. When it comes to past relationships... I think that's as sensitive as it gets.

1. Because you want to still see your partner as pure as you saw them when you first met.

2. Everyone has that little thorn in their stem called jealousy. You don't want to think of your boy/girlfriend loving anyone else more than they love you.

3. Some stuff you just don't want to hear... and some stuff you don't want to tell.

But... I try to be absolutely honest because I have nothing to hide. I think me and my boyfriend have been pretty honest with each other, even though it can still be a touchy subject.

So what do you think? When your in a serious relationship do you tell the truth or do you skim it? Give the name brand or the generic version of the truth?


© the thoughts and feelings of graham, 2009

~Thanks for reading...and if you haven't clicked that follow button on the right above my loyal community, please do and join the land of Complex Serenity.
Love & Peace... Avi'Qon

Friday, June 4, 2010

uhhh... the reason for my stress!

http://www.wect.com/Global/story.asp?S=12597805

IM NOT GETTING PAID!!!! THE YAHWEH CENTER DOESN'T PAY!!!!

CASTLE HAYNE, NC (WECT) - The Yahweh Center Children's Village in New Hanover County is a picturesque place where kids who are hurting go to heal. But beyond the white picket fences, there are signs of financial trouble.

Monica Carter has worked at the Yahweh Center for two months and says she has yet to receive a single paycheck. The check she should have received Friday didn't make it into her hands. Instead, she found a memo from Carla Roberts, the founder and executive director of the Yahweh Center, explaining that employees would be paid four days late.

"I have bills," said Carter. "I have kids, and I can't wait for Wednesday to get here and then they're like, 'No, I don't have anything for you.'"

While Carter is the first to speak out publicly, she's the fifth Yahweh employee to tell WECT about ongoing payroll problems, and much more. We sat down with Carla Roberts to get her side of the story.

"I'm in it up to my ears," said Roberts, saying that she is suffering just as much as her employees.

Roberts says there's just not enough money to go around, and blames many of the issues on the state.

"They've skipped. They've shorted us," she said.

She also claims they went three weeks without sending her any Medicaid reimbursement. However, when we checked with the state, we were told that is simply false. In fact, the Department of Health and Human Services said Roberts has received more than $500,000 so far this year; that's about one fourth of her total operating budget of $2.2 million.

"Sounds like mismanagement to me," said Carter.

She and other employees say the management problems go beyond money, to something much more important -- the care of the children.

They also say one of the most difficult parts of the situation is that not only God's name, but God's word are both inextricably connected with The Yahweh Center. It's just a matter of how that word is being used. Some say it's strictly to help the children. Others say it's turned into a method of manipulation. They claim Roberts uses their Christian faith to convince them it's ok if they get paid weeks behind schedule, because God will provide.

"Manipulation, people can call it what they want. I'm telling them the truth," said Roberts, saying the organization is transparent and open with its employees, and above all, centered around Christ.

"You need to know there's great sacrifice going on here, and there are programs all over North Carolina shutting down."

It's clear that no one wants the Yahweh Center to close its gates next, but Carter and a growing list of others do want some answers, and above all, they want what's best for the kids who call Yahweh home.

Courtesy of WECT TV 6, Wilmington, NC